So next Friday the first presidential debate is going to be held in my town. I'm not going to go on a rant about who I think should be the next president because god knows there are enough people doing that already, and 99% of them shouldn't be talking (I take that back--even if they're saying stupid stuff or saying things for the wrong reason or saying things that don't even really matter, I think I would rather have them talking than not. Being involved, even if it's for the wrong reasons, is better than apathy, right? Right?
Hmm.).
Anywho, the debate is coming to Oxford, and the whole town has gone to hell. You think Wilmington went nuts when 3 inches of snow fell? You ain't seen
nothin until you've seen a small Southern town that can barely deal with the increase in population that students cause when they return in August deal with the circus that's about to descend with the debate. It's nuts. For the past few months they've been paving and re-paving every parking lot they can find (and maybe it's saying something about how long I've been here that I didn't think it was strange to have a bunch of gravel lots on and around campus), putting up a whole mess of new poles from which to hang banners proclaiming the debate (as if you could NOT know) and all the red-white-and-blue
paraphernalia from each of the surrounding counties' 4
th of July celebration, and erecting miles upon miles of chain-link fence. Seriously. They've completely surrounded the debate site, and some of the roads that lead to it, in 8-foot tall chain link fence. It looks classy. Very antebellum. Today I saw some people putting a covering on it, like that green mesh stuff they put around tennis courts.
So they've done all that, they're blocking off the main entrance to campus and about 1/2 a mile of the road leading into campus, they sent an email out today essentially begging people not to drive to campus next week. If you pledge not to bring your car all week starting Monday, the school will give you a $10 food credit for any on-campus eatery. They're doing this for the first 2,000 people to sign up. That's $20,000 worth of income they're giving up.
Trust me, there's a lot more I could talk about (don't even get me started on the fact that my house is within a mile radius of the debate site and I'll probably be locked down by the Secret Service--or at least scoped out, or the snipers that will be posted on campus rooftops, or the fact that the KKK has announced that they'll be at the debate, you just won't be able to pick them out. No robes, no hoods, but they'll be here. That's much creepier. I know it's not 1960, but still). The thing is, this debate isn't going to do any lasting good here. Sure it's a feather in the cap of the administration that the University of Mississippi (I really hate the "Ole Miss" name by now), but it's not like we're the only place. Top professors, researchers, or students aren't going to say, "hey, that school hosted a debate. I really wanted to go to Harvard or Yale, but I think I'll go to the University of Mississippi instead." Having the debate isn't going to make this school suddenly jump up in the rankings. It's not going to create a surge in funding for academic resources or faculty lines. It's not going to give Oxford a Target. Or a decent beer selection.
What it is going to give us is a big hangover. 'Cause I'm gonna get DRUNK.
, by hand. They roll them themselves, right there in front of you, and fry them in these big cauldrons of oil that look like something I want to own. They flip them with big sticks and get them out of the oil with those same sticks, making a big stack of donuts that reminds me of the little ring toy that little kids have (you remember what I'm talking about)?
