Trying to Break

I've discovered this annoying thing about myself -- I can't take breaks. I've just finished a period of wonderful productivity. I wrote and presented a conference paper, wrote a chapter of my dissertation, and completely re-wrote another chapter all in a month and a half. That's pretty good, I think. The problem is that when I sat down to begin the next chapter, I couldn't think. I was spent, and I need to recharge the batteries. The problem is, here in Oxford there's not much to do to take a break from working except get drunk. And while I have no problem with getting drunk, it's probably not so good for my health, my marriage, the completion of my dissertation, getting a job, making money...you see where this goes. So I'm stuck in this limbo of feeling like I need to take a break from working but then feeling guilty for not working because there's nothing in this town that can completely occupy my mind and make me forget work for a few days. And the thing that really sucks is that if there was, if I could really take a good two or three days of doing things other than working that completely occupy my attention, then I could get back to work after those two or three days and feel completely refreshed. As it is now, I'm trying to occupy myself with other things but can't, so I never really feel like I'm taking a break OR getting work done, and in reality am doing neither.

This is the first May in my entire life when I have not been at the beach at all, which may be playing a part in my malaise. Anyway, I tried to find a different book to read, since that's a good way of occupying the mind, but my reading habits are so screwed of from dissertating that I have no idea what to read for fun. I had the same problem this time last year when I was trying to find reading material before my honeymoon.

Maybe I need to build something -- that would help me stay occupied doing something else. If the weather cleared up I could play golf. That would help too. I just need to relax. Writing a dissertation is stressful -- don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Especially if they've never written one before.